This is one of those days that I really miss my Grandma. I can't even begin to explain what an amazing person she was. She was a caretaker. She took care of everyone. She became the mom when her mom died when she was 17, she took care of her sister when she was dying and then took care of her children, and she took care of me when everything in Utah was going wrong. She was my protector and guardian, and she was a mom to me.
Her dying in November has shaken me so badly. I sleep every night with a blanket made out of her clothes on my pillow. I can't bring myself to put it away for safe keeping. I need her close to me.
Sometimes I wonder if she's looking down from where she is and is disappointed in where I am in life. I wonder if she sees that I've quit school and wonders how she was ever proud of me. I just want her to be proud of me.
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