So, Ellie's car needs a whole new engine, which is money we don't have.
So I'm doing one of the only things I can think of to do right now.
Please go and check it out! We're offering things for high donations!
She's my roommate and best friend, and needs a way to get to work!
http://www.gofundme.com/2sxbd4
Friday, May 3, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Who failed who?
I've been procrastinating posting because my mind has been all over the place when it comes to my emotions and what I think about what is going on in my life right now. What I should do is just call my counselor and be like "Fuck the insurance, let's just make an appointment and continue with therapy. They'll figure it out eventually and I can fight them if they try to be asses."
My uncle had surgery for cancer yesterday. I was a an emotional mess most of the day worrying about what happened, but he's doing fine and is finally home and resting.
And my father has cancer, and this brings up a lot of conflicting emotions. We aren't speaking right now because I decided that I can't handle it anymore. My depression and anxiety have been getting steadily worse over the last couple of years and I was finally at my breaking point, and the wedding tipped it over into the realm of "I can't have you in my life."
So now in finding this out, I went to my brother to get more information so I could decide how to handle it, an in the end I decided not to say anything.
He's having surgery on June 27th.
And now here comes the mixed emotions. I don't feel ready to talk to him. My insurance company halted my damn therapy, and I feel like I'm more of a mess than I was, though hiding it much better. But I must be an absolutely horrible daughter for not saying anything.
I know my dad doesn't really like me (or I guess that's my perception since my mom would tell me that's not true. I don't believe her though) but this might well push that dislike into just all around never wants to speak to me again. And I don't know how I feel about that. Hurt? Guilty? Relieved? I mean, I guess now there would be no guessing on my side.
I think I'm beginning to ramble, so I'm just going to stop now and go and work on something else. Distraction is a good tool.
My uncle had surgery for cancer yesterday. I was a an emotional mess most of the day worrying about what happened, but he's doing fine and is finally home and resting.
And my father has cancer, and this brings up a lot of conflicting emotions. We aren't speaking right now because I decided that I can't handle it anymore. My depression and anxiety have been getting steadily worse over the last couple of years and I was finally at my breaking point, and the wedding tipped it over into the realm of "I can't have you in my life."
So now in finding this out, I went to my brother to get more information so I could decide how to handle it, an in the end I decided not to say anything.
He's having surgery on June 27th.
And now here comes the mixed emotions. I don't feel ready to talk to him. My insurance company halted my damn therapy, and I feel like I'm more of a mess than I was, though hiding it much better. But I must be an absolutely horrible daughter for not saying anything.
I know my dad doesn't really like me (or I guess that's my perception since my mom would tell me that's not true. I don't believe her though) but this might well push that dislike into just all around never wants to speak to me again. And I don't know how I feel about that. Hurt? Guilty? Relieved? I mean, I guess now there would be no guessing on my side.
I think I'm beginning to ramble, so I'm just going to stop now and go and work on something else. Distraction is a good tool.
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