I have been having a hard time writing much of anything lately. I don't have the energy or the want to. Everything is so high stress and messed up right now. I feel like it might be helpful to let people know that all of this emotional strain does happen when you are fighting a disability case. I think waiting is the worst part. You don't know when and you don't know what will happen, but you know it is coming.

I've unfortunately also been shown, once again, that some friends are not in it for the long haul no matter what they say to you. Be wary, because most will leave. And they don't really care about the damage they cause by doing it. Someone could tell you a million times they love you, but it doesn't make them mean it when you need it most. I will survive this somehow and I will remember.

As Will Smith wisely said: If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success.

Losing it

So I talked to my attorney today on the phone and apparently when I get married, there is a very real chance I will lose all of my disability benefits. And I am not dealing with this well at all. I feel like all of the fight is gone from me. I just want to give up completely.