Sunday, April 21, 2013

When it rains, it pours

So let's be honest: being sick sucks. It always sucks. There really isn't a time you're thinking "wow, I feel great! What a wonderful life!" when you are chronically ill. You concentrate on managing symptoms and trying to live life despite it.

And then there are times when all you can do is lie in bed and think "damn it, just kill me already!" That was pretty much my week, and weekend, unfortunately. I deal constantly with pain and not feeling well, but this week was definitely a special case. Most of my time has been on the couch with a heating pad on my abdomen trying to deal with pain, waking up in the middle of the night sick, and not being able to eat much.

I think I've finally hit the beginning of this getting better; at least when it comes to the worst of the symptoms. I don't really expect the nausea to go away because it's been here for almost a month now.

They tell you when you are diagnosed with Fibromyalgia that it is not a progressive disease. On the plus side, they have it half right. It doesn't, as far as we know now, destroy tissue, nerves, or cells. So yay for that! But to say it doesn't progress and get worse would be lying, because it can and it does. Mine gets worse every year.

I have to remind myself that it can't break my spirit. Not if I don't let it. And I won't. I can't.

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