The Halfway Mark

Now that I'm down to 300mg of Lyrica, which is half of what I have been on for years now, I think it's time to take stock and look at what is happening to my body. I am also completely off the Ativan and the Fludrocortisone (which is a steroid used to keep sodium in the body).

Ativan Effects
-Anxiety much more often and stronger
-Had my first big *panic* attack in a long while (I have plenty of anxiety attacks, but no attacks where I feel like I can't breathe. That has changed.)
-More anxiety attacks from nowhere popping up.

Fludrocortisone Effects:
-More dizziness
-Had a moment where I was having issues with starting to pass out.

And now the big one...

Lyrica Effects:
-Bad nausea in the morning (which is where I've stopped taking the Lyrica completely)
-Neck pain is really bad.
-Having more trouble sleeping (mostly with initially falling asleep).
-More muscle aches all over body. It's really bad when I first wake up.
-Screw body temperature regulation. My body doesn't seem to know what the hell to do with me. Hot, cold, hot, cold, burning, freezing.
-Joints are pretty bad too. Just standing to do makeup was hard on my left knee. :/
-My energy has gone down significantly and it's a chore to get myself moving to do anything, including feeding myself.
-Oh and this damn brain fog. I'll forget what I'm doing within a few minutes and then later realize I didn't even do half of what I need to because I got off track.

Add onto this period cramps, and yeah... I'm just peachy.

At the very least, I guess this did manage to prove I'm not crazy. For a while there I was beginning to get overwhelmed by the constant barrage of how I'll probably feel a lot better being off the meds, and it might not even be symptoms of Fibroymalgia but something much simpler.

So I'm at least a little vindicated.

Though, I will say, I know most of this was said with good intentions and meaning to be supportive and helpful. I just think sometimes people don't really know how to be supportive about it, and they think this is helpful when it usually isn't.

Plan B Formulating...

You should always expect there to be hiccups along the road. So it would seem we've hit the first of our little snags.

One being that my doctor (the rheumatologist) can't do math. Mom said she's met a lot of doctors who can't do math. It doesn't make them a bad doctor, just a bad script writer. So I had to call up to Cleveland Clinic to try and sort it out and get a new prescription because if I use his, then I'll run out of Lyrica completely within a week and a half, and I'm left SOL.

They said yesterday they would get it taken care of and called in to CVS, so we'll see in about a half hour if they succeeded.

The second is these damn migraines. I finally came to the conclusion what I should have done from the beginning: save the migraine medications for last. Go off of everything else, and then go off those, because then it's a much shorter amount of time I might have to deal with the constant headaches.

Oh fertility goddesses, please give me your blessing that in pregnancy I will have no migraines. After everything else I have gone through, that small kindness will be much appreciated. So mote it be.

Ice and Fire

I've run into a bit of a conundrum. In going off of the Ultram, the cramps in my legs and arms have been horrible. In going off a couple of the things needed to help my migraines, I've been having them almost nonstop. So I of course have to start thinking about what will help.

Ice. Ice is great for the migraines. Not so great for the rest of my body. It makes the cramps worse, and I can't regulate my body temperature very well anymore so my whole body gets cold. My feet and hands are unbearable when I have the ice on my body.

And then there is heat. Heat is great for my body. It eases out the cramps, lets my body relax. Sure I get flushed and then need to rest afterward, and to be careful to not pass out. But it's worth it.

Buuuuut... it's horrible for the migraines.

I now have to plan how I do all of this very carefully, and many times I'm left sitting there thinking about how unfair it is, because really, what other methods have been left to my disposal that I can do for myself?

I guess the question really comes down to which pain can I live with better? I just hate that I have to choose.