Saying goodbye to 2011. I will not miss thee. It was a year of a lot of changes; some good, some bad. We saw the end of relationships, and the beginnings of others. We saw people die, and others be born.
For us we watched the end of a mother/son relationship due to the toxic behavior of the mother. And we can only hope to be brave in the months that come, what with the wedding looming and it being unsure of what she plans to do.
My friend Kim died. Nothing can replace what we lost.
I won my disability case. Something we had been fighting for for over a year and half. Though the case is not done yet (we are appealing the case for just how long I've been disabled), it was a great weight lifted off of me.
And we got Daisy, this little silly kitten.
2012 brings a lot of big changes as well. We'll be married in July, and I'll go through all of the paperwork of changing my name.
And I hope to get the first draft of my memoir, Diary of a Pain Patient, finished. That's my biggest goal.
May 2012 bring you all the happiness in the world.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Family is forever
I'm going to start this by saying what I have said to others for years now: Just because you bring a child into this world, it doesn't mean they owe you anything. Respect is EARNED.
I think most people with chronic pain know well enough how frustrating it is when people don't believe you're sick. I also think most would agree that it's even harder when it's family members reacting like that. And even more would agree its torture when it's your in-laws.
It's not new to know that my fiance's mother has made comments about my illness. She said shit about when I had to quit school, and she likes to tell people how I'm not disabled. I'm actually faking the whole thing to mooch off my fiance.
About 5 months ago or so, we had a huge falling out with his mom, as is evident here. She refused to accept it when he told her was done with her, and we ignored it. Until now. Ash sent her an email response to her asking about Christmas restating that until she owned up to what she had done, and tried to make amends with both of us, he was not going to see her.
He also added in that he was very upset about her telling everyone that I'm not actually sick, and that the back talking, specifically to his siblings, about me needs to STOP.
I thought for sure she was going to respond by flipping out on me. Oh boy was I wrong. The email she sent back was cruel, disgusting, and heartless. I'm not going to share the whole email, but I do want you guys to have a gander at how she began the email:
"I believe you have this backwards. You have been in trouble since you were in pre-school. You have disrupted this family, my marriage, and my life. Your actions were MAJOR problems not a casual remark. At no point had you ever apologized for your behavior. But you are my son and I forgave you."
I think it's this paragraph that makes me the angriest. How dare she? She then goes on to tell how she is so sick, and hurts all the time, but she still goes to work to support the family (that one was obviously meant for me), and how I'm going to be so much work to talk care of the older we get.
His brother sent her his own email telling her that he was sickened by the email she sent to Ash, and that he couldn't be around this negativity.
And she again spent a good portion talking about how horrible my fiance has been throughout his life.
I. am. LIVID.
I think most people with chronic pain know well enough how frustrating it is when people don't believe you're sick. I also think most would agree that it's even harder when it's family members reacting like that. And even more would agree its torture when it's your in-laws.
It's not new to know that my fiance's mother has made comments about my illness. She said shit about when I had to quit school, and she likes to tell people how I'm not disabled. I'm actually faking the whole thing to mooch off my fiance.
About 5 months ago or so, we had a huge falling out with his mom, as is evident here. She refused to accept it when he told her was done with her, and we ignored it. Until now. Ash sent her an email response to her asking about Christmas restating that until she owned up to what she had done, and tried to make amends with both of us, he was not going to see her.
He also added in that he was very upset about her telling everyone that I'm not actually sick, and that the back talking, specifically to his siblings, about me needs to STOP.
I thought for sure she was going to respond by flipping out on me. Oh boy was I wrong. The email she sent back was cruel, disgusting, and heartless. I'm not going to share the whole email, but I do want you guys to have a gander at how she began the email:
"I believe you have this backwards. You have been in trouble since you were in pre-school. You have disrupted this family, my marriage, and my life. Your actions were MAJOR problems not a casual remark. At no point had you ever apologized for your behavior. But you are my son and I forgave you."
I think it's this paragraph that makes me the angriest. How dare she? She then goes on to tell how she is so sick, and hurts all the time, but she still goes to work to support the family (that one was obviously meant for me), and how I'm going to be so much work to talk care of the older we get.
His brother sent her his own email telling her that he was sickened by the email she sent to Ash, and that he couldn't be around this negativity.
And she again spent a good portion talking about how horrible my fiance has been throughout his life.
I. am. LIVID.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Writer's block
It's really bothering me that I can't seem to break this. I want to work on my novel and I want to work on my memoir. But I can't seem to get going on it. I open up the chapters, maybe write a couple of sentences, and then stare at it for a while before I finally get so annoyed I close the window. I need to get working. You can't get your dreams if you don't do the work for it.
Friday, December 9, 2011
This is when it all really sucks.
I've had a migraine for the last 2 days. The medicine didn't work yesterday, and now I'm waiting for Asher to bring food back before I can take a second dose. And I have things to do. I need to make pumpkin bread for my friend's dinner party tomorrow night, and I need to wrap presents.
Someone got mad at me for daring to park in the handicapped parking spot. For one, my mom was with me too, and she has MS. But even if she wasn't, fuck you for assuming that just because I'm young, I'm completely able bodied. People of ALL AGES can be handicapped you prejudiced bitch.
Someone got mad at me for daring to park in the handicapped parking spot. For one, my mom was with me too, and she has MS. But even if she wasn't, fuck you for assuming that just because I'm young, I'm completely able bodied. People of ALL AGES can be handicapped you prejudiced bitch.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
25 years old!
It's my birthday!!! 25 years ago, I came into the world! Haha, poor mom didn't know half of what she would half to deal with. I'm so me do it, and headstrong. :p
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