Now that I'm a little calmer, I can actually talk about this better. So, my future mother-in-law, known from now on known as Sharon, is the type of person who has no qualms about making fun of someone behind their back. We've seen her do it many times, unfortunately. I already knew she talked behind my back, and it didn't really bother me because what she was saying was just so ridiculous it was funny to me.
For example, I'm a bad person apparently for saying "hi" instead of "hello" and how dare I call her by her actual name and not Mom. Um, you aren't my mom, you'll never be my mom. Get over it, Sharon..
Well on Friday, I let it slip to Shellie that Sharon had been making fun of her weight, which is a horrible thing to do to someone who has had problems with bulimia like Shellie has. I felt so horrible, not because I told her, but because of how badly it affected her. I felt responsible for the pain she was in. Aaron, her fiance and Asher's brother, then told us that Sharon had made a comment about how I've been ballooning up.
Now this wouldn't have bothered me except I was already very upset with my weight gain, all which is happening because of my medications which makes it impossible to really do anything about it. So that made it 100 times worse.
We spent yesterday kind of obsessing over it because we couldn't get it out of our minds. We want to tell her somehow that we know what she is doing. I want to hear Asher tell her that's unacceptable behavior and that we won't tolerate it. And then every part of me never wants to go to her house again. Shellie feels the same way, but she has firmly decided she's never going back over there while I'm on the fence because it's not really fair to people whose party is being thrown. Like Asher for instance. His birthday party is being thrown this weekend coming up. I can't just not go. It's for my fiance. Same with his graduation party later this month.
I think we're just going to go to Uncle Tom's this year for thanksgiving though. Not sure about Christmas eve yet. We'll see.
I just don't want to go back. I don't want to pretend I like this woman anymore. It's a lie. She's a horrible person, And not someone I want to deal with at all. I'm just done playing these stupid games.
Sharon, you're an adult. You're in your damn 50s. Grow the fuck up.
I'm going to talking to dad and uncle tom on how to handle this situation but I am going to bring it up and to see if she does deny it. If she does then I am going to call her out on it because I do have confirmation on what was said about shellie and has made not so grown up comments about other people. I feel embarrassed that my own mother is going to behave like that but it will be dealt with at least on my end. What ash does is up to him.
ReplyDeleteOh Ash plans on doing something. He's not going to just lay down and watch everything unfold without standing up for me. I don't think he's completely decided on what he'll do yet. I'm sure talking to your dad with you about it today will help him decide.
ReplyDeleteEmi, if you need to talk, I am here, I know all about dealing with a Mother- in - Law from hell, and with dealing with people talking about your weight, it is something I have had to live with forever. I am sorry she is being like this to you. I do not want to put here everything I had to deal with before my wedding, I can't remember if we have talked about it or not, but, sometimes, you just have to grin and bear it. Bob stood up for me, but I also know he loved his mother no matter how mean and cruel she was to me at the time, so I had to take the high road and let them still have their time, but, it was only on the Holidays, and that was it, that I would deal with her. Now, 16 years later, she has learned, and she has finally grown up, as she sees her own health deteriorate, and I am the one she can come to, because I am the one who understands... go figure. Anyway, I love you, I am here for you, and I love everything about you, no matter what your meds do to you :)
ReplyDeleteAw, Emi, I'm sorry :( I know we don't talk much (this is Jordan from your College Writing II class), but I just wanted to say that I know this sucks. Although I've since made amends with my future mother-in-law, and she was never quite as bad as this, I know how it feels to have problems with them. It's uncalled for what she says about you, and weight should never be something you make fun of with family. The medication I'm on has slowly moved me into the "obese" category, and I cannot even imagine how I would feel if someone made fun of me for it. I'm glad your fiancee is sticking up for you. Not every guy would do that, and it shows he really cares about you. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks you guys. Just knowing I have support is helpful.
ReplyDeleteYes, Anj, I do remember some of the stories you told me about her. It's amazing how easy it is to end up with a crazy, evil mother in law, isn't it? I think how you have handled it is close to how I'm going to, but I've already told Ash that if we have kids, I don't want them around her. I don't want them seeing someone being so toxic and think it's okay. And he agreed with me. We'll see what happens at his birthday party next weekend.
I'm sorry to hear you're having the same types of problems with meds, Jordan. :( It's so maddening because when it's meds doing it, there isn't a whole lot you can do to combat the problem. Yes, I know not every guy would stick up for me, and my fiance truly is amazing. He would never let someone say something like that about me without telling them off, even if it's his own family.