What to do?

I had another mental breakdown, and now I'm kind of on the fence of what to do. I have 2 major choices with this one, and it could change my life forever. But because of that it kind of has me in this place of being scared.

1. I could talk about what caused it, and start the steps towards what could be the final days of a major relationship in my life (no, not with Asher).

or

2. I keep my mouth shut and and just deal with all of the questions and doubts on my own.

So far I've been doing #2, obviously, but I really don't know how long I can let the questions go. And I hate being so vague about it, but I know that if I say exactly what it's about, I have no choice but to move forward. I'm torn between wanting to save the relationship and wanting to know the truth. :-/

In other news, I think I'm going to have them fiddle with my meds to try and find a combination that is both helpful and not causing more weight gain. I'm up to 180 lbs and I'm just at my wits end. I'm also fiddling with weight watchers.

So I'll take back my Lyrica and Cymbalta to where it was at before the clinic, and then after a little, watch to see if the weight changes, then start going back up on Cymbalta. That way I'll know which med is doing it. Here's to hoping I survive it!