You Lift Me Up

Someone at aftercare said something that really bothered me yesterday. She said that it was our responsibility as humans to lift others up and not drag them down. I agree with half of that. We shouldn't do things to bring people down, but it is far from our responsibility to lift them up.

Do you try to lift them up when their your friends? Of course you do! I do. But is it my responsibility to do that? Hell no! It's their responsibility to do it for themselves. If you constantly pick them up over and over and over again, then when will they ever do it for themselves?

That's what makes me so mad about this friend that I was talking about yesterday. She's not willing to lift herself up because we've been doing it for her for too long. So she's gotten lazy and selfish. It's easier to just use her friends than to work on herself, and that's what she does. I'm tired of being used. I was willing to help when I thought she was working on herself, but I see now signs of that, and she refuses to talk to me. So how else am I supposed to know?

She's the kind of person who completely shuts down when she is upset and refuses to talk. She doesn't like to even talk things out so there aren't any feelings of resentment left over, which I think is a really stupid way to live. How are you ever going to get things fixed if you don't talk about what happened? That's how Shellie and I managed to get so close again. We've talked about the fight we got into over and over and over again.

Another thing that bothered me is that she was constantly lying to me. The whole fight that happened with Shellie never would have gotten as bad on my end had I not been getting incorrect information. And at that point, you aren't just messing with two friends. You're messing up a family (since she's going to be my sister in law). I think that's disgusting.

So this is my way of getting it all out since she won't even speak to me about it. It's sad it's hard to come to this.