Sometimes it feels like the insomnia is so much worse than the actual pain itself. I've been on I don't even know how many sleeping pills throughout my life. But they only do so much. Right now they get me to sleep, which I have to admit is a huge hurdle, but it does nothing to keep me asleep and I find myself awake much too often for comfort.
It's even worse if I know I have to wake up for something because I just lay there. I know I'm awake. I know where I am. I'm not sure what time it is though. I could check, but then it will bother me. What if I have to wake up in a half an hour? There's no way I'm going back to sleep then. But what if I still have a couple of hours? I could relax a little and get back to sleep.
It's like a constant battle.
I'm not that tired now, but I know later today I'll be exhausted and want to sleep, but what good does that do to my sleeping later?
Insomnia, old friend, I think we need to take a break from each other.
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