10 years ago....

This actually is still a week away, but it's been weighing on my mind, so I thought I'd discuss it. 10 years ago marks a time that was very hard for me. I had only been in Ohio for a semester, I was a new freshman in high school, and to top it all off, I really hard to start dealing with the full effects of my PTSD. I hadn't been seeing counselors for very long, and I had finally agreed to going on a medication.

Now, let me say that I do think Prozac is an effective tool. I know because it was for me, but not until it was used right. This psychiatrist put a severely depressed, suicidal girl on a medication and then decided it was fine that I not be seen regularly. I didn't think anything about it at the time. I didn't understand how dangerous that was.

Until 10 years ago.

It was Friday right before Labor day weekend, and I was having a lot of problems. Top it all off with the fact that I got into a huge fight with my friend and it set me off. I went into mom's room while she was at the store, took half of her Tylenol bottle (extra strength) and downed them. I would have taken all of them, but I wanted to leave some for my mom, who has MS and deals with a lot of pains.

I would have succeeded too had I not posted my suicide not online. I forgot that there was one person who had a phone number to someone other than me, and luckily she took what a 14 year old was saying seriously.

I remember when we were in the emergency room and I could feel all of my muscles tensing. It was like being pinched really hard right on the muscles.

I was dying.

Every single year since then, when Labor day rolls around, it's hard not to think about it. The doctors told my parents that had they been just a few minutes later, there wouldn't have been anything they could do to help me.

I would hope that if you are ever faced with someone saying they have taken something, or are going to take something, that you take it seriously. It could mean the difference between life and death.